Greg Hard

I'm tired of hearing everyone bashing Demand Media. Sure, they fill the Google search results with mind-numbingly useless drek and "how-to" articles on nonsensical topics. But the whole point of this type of content is to find out what people are searching for and write (seemingly terrible) content that is optimized to rank highly in search results. What this means, of course, is that someone, somewhere, is searching for how to express a dog's anal gland. The short of it is that people search for, and find, the "drek" that Demand Media soils the internet with.

So who are these people who seem to crave what Demand Media has to offer? 

One example is the scrunchie enthusiast, with such helpful gems as "Ideas for Organizing Scrunchies" and, for the scrunchie impaired amongst us, "How to Use a Scrunchy." Once you master the basics, you can move up to the higher-level "How to Make Beaded Scrunches." Thanks to eHow and Demand Media, I know what I'm doing this weekend!

They also seem to be serving those who live in some kind of Matrix-like (or Kafka-esque) reality, except instead of there being no spoon, there are no buttons. While this scenario could arguably be called theoretical, or perhaps just insane, Demand Media is thinking ahead with their illuminating piece on the various types of push buttons. Did you know that "push buttons allows us to key in phone numbers on our telephone pads ... [and] are connected to other processes that send signals to landline operating systems and, subsequently, allow us to make phone calls"? Of course you did, as you're neither a complete moron nor from a parallel dimension in which buttons don't exist. (Note: The button piece has been removed from eHow, so I'm linking to it via the Google cached page. Because it's still pretty amazing. Apparently they thought that buttons are just too much for us unsavy internet users to handle.)

And for the socially inept among us (you know who you are), there's help for you, too. Do you know how to flirt? You do now! And once you've flirted your way to your ideal mate, learn how you guys can conceive twins (because everyone should get advice about child rearing from the Internet. It's cheaper than hiring a fertility expert.) Perhaps you're also so used to email that you've lost the ability to send actual mail. Then jump back into the 19th century and learn how to address an envelope.

And just because I can, here it is again: How to Express a Dog's Anal Gland. You're welcome.

It’s been over 24 hours since the “official” beginning of iPad mania has begun. Twitter was buzzing with nothing but iPad related tweets for the past 36 hours or so, and as tiring as that has been, what is even more tiring is the rather absurd claims being made by some regarding this device. I’ve heard that it is the most revolutionary device since the iPhone, which may very well be true. I’ve also heard people say that it will replace laptop computing, which is a claim that actually first made me laugh, and then made me cry. The most recent edition of TWiT was brimming with positive thoughts on the iPad, as were other shows on the TWiT network.

I think, then, it is time to sober up from our iPad intoxication and look at what the device is and what it is not, so I’m providing some of my favorite iPad comments and reviews from around the web.

Simplifies Computing and Content Consumption

Leo Laporte said it best throughout the weekend, most recently on TWiT: It is a “content consumption device.” He’s very correct that the iPad will be an amazing device to watch movies (for travel or in bed, perhaps), read books, play interactive games and consume much of the internet (so long as you don’t need flash). From the early hands-on demonstrations I’ve seen, it will do it all with a glamor and sense of ease that no computer can claim. I want one for some of the amazing apps that are available, and those that will come.

Steve Wozniak called it a “reboot”, going back to a time when computing was simple and fun, rather than a chore. In reality, I can see it doing just that for those who aren’t interested in doing anything more than consumption and simple web browsing. But for those of us who want to push our computers, who game for real, who create content AND consume it, who desire to be a part of the open and social web, it simply isn’t enough of a computer and is too limited and controlled. What it does well is augment our laptop for portable consumption of content.

Andy Ihnatko’s review touches on its utility as a real computer, and he covers many of the important points, such as lack of real multitasking and an open file system, that reduce this utility. I agree with many of his points, including the fact that it isn’t a replacement for a real, full featured computer.

iPad is a Closed System

Jeff Jarvis wrote a piece outlining his concerns about the return from creation to mere consumption, what I call a regression to the old web 1.0 where we were told what type of content we wanted, and how to consume it.

The iPad is retrograde. It tries to turn us back into an audience again. That is why media companies and advertisers are embracing it so fervently, because they think it returns us all to their good old days when we just consumed, we didn’t create, when they controlled our media experience and business models and we came to them.

This is a concern that didn’t occur to me, but it augments the other concern I have regarding the closed nature of the iPad. He argues, and I’m convinced by his arguments, that the iPad facilitates this transformation from content creators back into mere consumers. Web 2.0 brought us into a time when we are all able to create, promote, comment on, and determine the content in which we are fed, and the means by which we consume it. Not so much with the iPad.

Cory Doctorow wrote a rather scathing critique of the iPad, and I agree with many of his points, especially on the closed nature of the iPad. He argues that the iPad “infantalizes hardware”, that the iPad is designed for the stereotypical illiterate computer user, and he isn’t completely wrong: I feel it is a consumer electronics device more than a computer, and its closed nature reflects that fact. Not only is the device itself closed, the application development channel is completely closed and Apple controlled as well.

If you want to live in the creative universe where anyone with a cool idea can make it and give it to you to run on your hardware, the iPad isn’t for you.

Will I buy an iPad? Actually, I might - but not yet. As of right now, it fills no gaps in my life. I see no place where an iPad would fit, and that includes media consumption. I’m more interested in seeing innovative, effective and seamless IPTV solutions for my HDTV than I am to consume media on a tablet PC. That isn’t to say I won’t eventually get one to augment my travel computing needs, but it may be the next iteration of the device before I see the need. Despite all of these criticisms, they won’t prevent me from getting an iPad - but they will prevent the iPad from ever replacing a fully featured notebook or desktop computer, which as of this writing is a MacBook.